I Saw You By Chance

🎼 Eoneu Haru_Roller Coaster

There’s probably no one who hasn’t imagined running into an ex-lover by chance.

On a platform of the subway line he used to take, at a cafe we frequented, on an entirely unexpected street— we list various scenarios, each clothed in different times and places, and run simulations of our chance encounter countless times.

We meticulously calculate everything: the angle at which our eyes meet when we look up, the tremor in our voice for that first word, even the fingers tightening the strap of the bag on our shoulder. But we know. If we actually face such a moment, all those countless rehearsals will become meaningless. Perhaps we won’t even be able to utter a single word, our minds going blank from a pounding heart, and we might just avert our gaze.

To prepare for such a day, I listen to Roller Coaster’s . The lyrics, imbued with a dry sadness, flow calmly, and then the unspoken stories within the scats, cried out, swim deep into my heart.

💿

The sound of the clock’s hands is too loud, I stare blankly out the window for a long time. It’s been years, but I saw you by chance. That smile I loved so much is still the same. Back home, I looked at your photo, tucked deep in my desk. How can you be smiling so brightly?

On the radio, a sad love song plays. It’s just like my story, making me smile. There were so many things I wanted to say if I met you, but I hate myself for only being able to say, “It’s been a long time.”